Dear [NAME]

ACADEMIC PRINCIPALS MESSAGE

Welcome back after the very much needed midterm break.

There are one or two items I need to bring to your attention this week.

The first is extra lessons   This is a service that is offered to all our students in need of extra help and is part of what I call the extended learning  programme at the College.

These lessons are COMPULSORY and are at the subject teachers request.Please ensure that if your childs attendance at an extra lesson is deemed necessary by a teacher then there is a reason for this, and your child is  expected to attend.

If you are unsure about any aspect of the extra lesson programme, please contact the relevant HOD.

The second item is the talk by John Buswell on the 20th May.  Please do not miss the opportunity to become an INFORMED PARENT.

This week the topic on the dangers our adolescents in society face is DATE RAPE.

Have a safe weekend.

Thank you

G.C. McQUEEN

ACADEMIC PRINCIPAL

DATES TO DIARISE   FIRST TERM

22 March

Public Holiday

26 March

Grantley Sports Day

College closes 12 noon for the holidays

12 April

Students return

Second Term begins

WHAT IS DATE RAPE?

When people think of rape, they might think of a stranger jumping out of a shadowy place and sexually attacking someone. But it's not only strangers who rape. In fact, about half of all people who are raped know the person who attacked them. Girls and women are most often raped, but guys also can be raped.

Most friendships, acquaintances, and dates never lead to violence, of course. But, sadly, sometimes it happens. When forced sex occurs between two people who already know each other, it is known as date rape or acquaintance rape.

Even if the two people know each other well, and even if they were intimate or had sex before, no one has the right to force a sexual act on another person against his or her will.

Although it involves forced sex, rape is not about sex or passion. Rape has nothing to do with love. Rape is an act of aggression and violence.

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You may hear some people say that those who have been raped were somehow "asking for it" because of the clothes they wore or the way they acted. That's wrong: The person who is raped is not to blame. Rape is always the fault of the rapist. And that's also the case when two people are dating or even in an intimate relationship. One person never owes the other person sex. If sex is forced against someone's will, that's rape.

Healthy relationships involve respect  including respect for the feelings of others. Someone who really cares about you will respect your wishes and not force or pressure you to have sex.

Alcohol and Drugs

Alcohol is often involved in date rapes. Drinking can loosen inhibitions, dull common sense, and for some people allow aggressive tendencies to surface.

Drugs may also play a role. You may have heard about "date rape" drugs like rohypnol ("roofies"), gamma-hydroxybutyrate (GHB), and ketamine. Drugs like these can easily be mixed in drinks to make a person black out and forget things that happen. Both girls and guys who have been given these drugs report feeling paralyzed, having blurred vision, and lack of memory.

Mixing these drugs with alcohol is highly dangerous and can kill.

Protecting Yourself

The best defense against date rape is to try to prevent it whenever possible. Here are some things both girls and guys can do:

• Avoid secluded places (this may even mean your room or your partner's) until you trust your partner.
• Don't spend time alone with someone who makes you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. This means following your instincts and removing yourself from situations that you don't feel good about.
• Stay sober and aware. If you're with someone you don't know very well, be aware of what's going on around you and try to stay in control. Also, be aware of your date's ability to consent to sexual activity you may become guilty of committing rape if the other person is not in a condition to respond or react.
• Go out with a group of friends and watch out for each other.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help if you feel threatened.
• Take self-defense courses. These can build confidence and teach valuable physical techniques a person can use to get away from an attacker

RAPEWISE

UPCOMING TALK - BOOK YOUR PLACE

20 MAY 2010 19h00

The talk directly addresses the safety and wellbeing of adolescents in the 21st century society.

The talk will cover the following topics:

New Serious Sexual Offences Amendments Act

How does the new Sexual offences Act affect your child

Mixit & Facebook

The influence and dangers of technology on our adolescents

Pornography on the internet and cell phone

Giving your child the tools in how to not fall prey to paedophilia

Drugs including date rape

What are the signs of drug abuse and different types of drugs?

Give your child the tools to survive when out socialising

Subcultures in the youth (Emo)

How to spot what subculture your child is in and are they in danger?

Depression in adolescents

Signs of depression and what to do

Self Mutilation

Is your child hurting himself / herself and do you know about it?

Jon Buswell is an expert in this field and is well known to the Grantley Staff and our students who have

attended his workshops.

Please RSVP with Erika at 011 643 8321 or info@grantleycollege.co.za

CASH FREE ZONE

To further improve our security arrangements Grantley College will become a cash free zone from the end of the month. Please use your childs Family Code as example: the banks beneficiary reference: 3MORT01 when doing a payment

From the 18 March 2010 all payments to the College must be made via our bank account. The only exception to this will be the tuckshop and certain designated fundraiser events.

Robin Sandford

OPERATIONS PRINCIPAL

ADMINISTRATION

Thank you to parents who pay timeously and communicate with us.

Please use your child`s Family Code as example: the banks beneficiary reference: 3MORT01 when doing a payment

For easy reference our banking details are as follows:

Grantley College, Standard Bank 200489062, Parktown Branch 000355

lvcoller@grantleycollege.co.za  /sms 083 707 0122 / fax 011 6431418

TRANSPORT

Transport offered from the South of Johannesburg.

Any one interested can contact Rene on 079 873 7576

MY SCHOOL CARD

We  are in position 27 in the Johannesburg North Region.

Our top supporter family for January 2010 is the Sykes Family.  Brandon Sykes in Grade 10 wins 2 movie tickets  at Nu-Metro.

Our top supporter class for January is our Grade 12.1s and they will be getting  their prize on Friday 5 March

Well done to all  supporters.  Who will be our winners next time!

We  are in position 27 in the Johannesburg North Region.

Our top supporter family for January 2010 is the Sykes Family.  Brandon Sykes in Grade 10 wins 2 movie tickets  at Nu-Metro.

Our top supporter class for January is our Grade 12.1s and they will be getting  their prize on Friday 5 March

Well done to all  supporters.  Who will be our winners next time!

CHARITY CLUB

First and foremost, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who supported the Charity Club. It has been greatly appreciated and acknowledged. Once again, we have commenced with our new Charity Drive for 2010, and we would like you to be part of it.We have two charity organisations that we will be supporting, one being the Animals in Distress and The Amazing Grace Childrens Centre. We are in the midst of collecting various items needed. It would be greatly appreciated if you could support us by donating the following items;

ANIMALS IN DISTRESS

Old blankets

Old towels

Dry dog food

Cat food

THE AMAZING GRACE CHILDRENS CENTRE (Boards 120 children)

Clothing (babies, toddlers, teens, adults)

Non-perishable Foods

Bedding

Blankets

Reading material

Old school textbooks (the children are being schooled)

Abandoned babies from 6 months

Bottles

Formula

Long life milk

Nappies

Clothing

Disposable bags

Cereal/purity

Juices

Cups and plates (plastic)

Knives, forks, spoons (Plastic)

Toys

Board Games

If you have any questions or queries please do not hesitate to contact me.

Miss R Maharaj

Mrs G McQUEEN

Charity Club Co-ordinator

Academic Principal

Chloe Nel

Charity Club Leader

FROM THE PSYCHOLOGY DESK OF DR. KRUGER

There are many reasons why teens lack motivation -- to do what parents want them to do. (You'll notice they don't lack motivation to do what they want to do -- talk on the phone, skateboard, shop, party, etc.) For now, I'll mention just a few:

1.  Parents nag and invite resistance. Don`t get involved in a power struggle with your teen.

2.Teens feel "conditionally loved" -- "I'm okay only if I live up to my parents expectations."This hurts and they get even by failing.

3. Children aren't allowed to explore the relevance for themselves. They are "told", but they don't ex plore. How many parents "tell" their children what happened, what caused it to happen, how they should feel about it, and what they should do about it? It is much more effective to ask what and how questions as in No. 4.

4. Parents don't allow their children to learn from failure -- an excellent motivator. One of the best ways to help children learn to be responsible (motivated) is to be consciously irresponsible.  Allow them to fail and then be empathetic and help them explore what happened, how they feel about it, what they learned from it, and what they could do in the future if they want another outcome.

5. Regarding motivation to do chores, etc.; again teens are too often told instead of invited to brain storm and come up with a solution that works for everyone. Teens are much more motivated to follow a plan they have helped create.

6. Parents expect teens to "remember to do their chores" as though it were an indicator of responsibil ity. Even though teens are "more" motivated to follow a plan they have helped create, they will still forget because it is not high on their list of priorities. This does not mean they are irresponsible. It means they are teens. A friendly reminder doesn't have to be a big deal. Point, use charades, or write a note. If you have to say something, ask, "What did we agree to that you have forgotten?"

7. Adults need to be kind and firm while holding teens accountable, once they have agreed upon a plan. It is just as easy to be kind while reminding as it is to be unkind, actually it is easier, because everyone feels better and the job gets done without a power struggle. (Understanding that it is easier and more effective is the hard part.

8. Parents should teach their children problem-solving skills through family meetings and individual barnstorming sessions.

9. Parents should help children learn time management skills through involving them in the creation of routine charts. The key word is "involving them."

10. Parents give their children too many things and then wonder why they fail to be appreciative -- and instead just want more, more, and more.

11. Parents don't know how to say, "I love you, and the answer is no."

12. Parents are more interested in short term results than long-range results.

13. Listen! Talk less and listen more. Invite conversation by asking open questions and then listening.

14. Share your vision. Let your teen know your hopes and dreams for him/her.

15. Encourage Independence. Think about providing lots of practice what to do in difficult situations.

16. Encourage choice. When your teen makes the choice, its easier to live with the consequences.

17. Provide information. Give factual information to your teen as they need it to make healthy decisions.

18.Be proactive by establishing clear positions. Be clear on your guidelines, monitor and follow-up on   consequences.

19. Monitor. Talk to other parents, observe, ask questions, and follow through with your family position.

20. Model. Your teen learns from your behavior. Treat your teen the way you would like to be treated.

21. The old saying, you raise what you praise is true. What behaviors do you attend to?

22. Have FUN with our teens. In the day to day tasks that we have, we often fail to have fun with our kids. Participate in an activity that you both enjoy!

23. Don't argue with the way your teen sees things. Instead, state your own case and speak from that. "I have a different opinion," "This is what I believe," and "This is the way I see it."

24. Don't talk down to your teenager. There's nothing more irritating than a condescending tone.

25. Don't lecture or preach. Again, this only provokes hostility. Besides, the average teenager goes "deaf" after hearing about five sentences.

26. Don't set limits you can't enforce.

27. Do focus on the behaviour, not the person.

28. Do think ahead to what you will say and how you will say it.

29. Do keep your messages clear and concise.

30. Do stick to one issue at a time.

31. Give teenagers clear rules. Adolescents need help in setting limits on their behavior. They need to know what rules are acceptable for family members to follow. They need to know what parents expect and what their "bottom lines" are. Often, teenagers resent rules and test the absolute limits. But parents should not be afraid of "taking a stand" and insisting on certain behaviors that reflect their values. Teenagers gain strength and self-respect from parents who are clear and consistent in their expectations and are willing to discuss the reasons for their decisions.

32. Don't overact. The most important attribute a parent can have toward the teen is patience. And, it is often the most difficult attribute to give to teens. Patience means accepting the teenager's feelings. It means "listening with your heart as well as your ear." Listening, in a non- judgmental fashion, opens the door for understanding.

33. Teach survival skills. Parents can do this by encouraging teens to take part in group activities.  Belonging to or taking part in religious, sport and school activities help teens learn to get along with others. Youth involved in supervised activities are less likely to be involved in activities which lead to delinquent behavior.

34. Give lots of encouragement. Teens need to know their families care about them, especially when they get in trouble. Be sure they know that you care. Show interest in their friends, school, and activities. Stand by them, not over them.

35. Only battle over important matters. As long as teenagers don't hurt themselves or others, ignore little things that irritate you. (Example: hair styles, clothes.) If parents battle with teens over everything they don't like or disapprove, teens may decide to rebel by "dropping out" or using drugs. Save your influence for important matters!

36. Don't treat teens like children. Don't say, "You aren't eating well enough" or, "You aren't getting enough sleep. You'd better be in bed early tonight," or "You can't have the car anymore till you bring your grades up." Treat your teens like responsible persons and they will act responsibly. Teenagers resent being treated like children. If you treat them like children, they will set out to prove they are not children, sometimes with delinquent, antisocial behavior.

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